I Regret Neglecting Myself – Now I have to live with it

So this happened: I went to get my passport and had to pay extra to get it expedited.  A week later I see the worst picture I’ve ever taken in my life.  Get this, now I’m stuck with it for 10 years unless I want to pay for it all over again.


This picture will be me for the next 10 years of my life and I have to be okay with that.  Granted, I had to wake up extra early that day, I had a fever and looked as crappy as I felt.  This passport was needed so that I could go to my dentist in Mexico to get a few root canals so my face looks puffy and just sick.


I’ve never really cared to spend extra time every day applying makeup or doing my hair.  Really, for me it was enough to leave the house clean, showered, groomed and maybe with a little mascara and lip color.  


Immediately after receiving my passport I went to the nearest hair salon, chopped off my hair (this will force me to spend some time on it styling it) and finally replaced all the old makeup I had run out of a year prior.  This last task was not cheap since I practically had to replenish everything from foundation to eye makeup, blush, and other stuff.  The makeup lady from the Dillard’s Clinique counter even spent time teaching me how to apply contouring shadows and highlights, something I’ve never done before.


Of course, I’m not saying that looks are everything or even something of utter importance but I am saying that how you treat yourself matters.  It matters because however you treat yourself will make you feel bad or great about yourself.  


I had neglected myself in several ways.  First, I was sick with a tooth infection.  Instead of running to my dentist at the first sign of a cavity, I put it off so I wouldn’t have to miss work or a PTA meeting.  I neglected myself by letting my hair grow wild and not pampering myself every now and then with a trim to keep my hair healthy.  Finally, I mistreated myself by just giving up on my appearance.  


I was fooling myself that I was 100% ok with how I looked to the world but I was really just full of crap.  I had simply given up.  So if wearing a little blush helps me feel confident and strong then so be it.  If straightening my hair each morning allows me to spend some time taking care of myself, then I’ll do that.


Everyone has different ways of helping them feel great about themselves.  It can be anything from going on a run to relaxing in the tub.  Surprisingly for me, it happens to be a little bit of makeup and a brand new ‘do.


So I will live with this awful picture of myself on my passport for the next 10 years and every time I see it, it will serve as a reminder to keep putting myself first and keep taking care of myself.


And no, I will not post the picture ;p

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nancy valdez

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